There was a young girl from St. Paul
Wore a newspaper dress to a ball
But the dress caught on fire
And burned her entire
Front page, "sporting section", and all!

or, alternatively:

A diner, while dining at Crewe
Found quite a large fly in his stew.
Said the waiter, "Don't shout
"And wave it about,
"Or the rest will be wanting one too!"

Dave Oesterreich