Daylia, did you ever hear that song I wrote to the tune of that other old song "In the land of France...etc"

Big Cash Cow

Smoking makes you smell
Smoking rots your lungs to hell
Smoking's ugly and it's needless
Major spending for the heedless
It's a big cash cow
And it wants your dollars now!

Join the line of fools
On the sidewalk by the school
Join the ranks of local losers
Couch potatoes, junkies, boozers
Join the line of sheep
Smoke your lungs out, fall asleep
Drink your coffee, eat your burger
Unpremeditated murder
It's a big cash cow
And it wants your dollars now!

Do I mind your smoke?
Yes, I do, I hope you choke
Take your cancer stick and stick it
Flick your Bic into the thicket
It's a big cash cow
And it wants your dollars now!

We had just made love
When she slipped out of her glove
A narcotic that is legal
Doesn't change the fact it's evil
I said, "Thanks, I'll pass.
I would rather have some grass.
It's less bad for you, and it's less addictive too!"

Take your smoke break, Jack
Take it somewhere down the track
Back behind the cancer station
At the heart attack location
Take your smoke break, please
But don't do it next to me
It's a big cash cow
And it wants your dollars NOW! (now...now...now...)

I thought it was interesting that you used the term "cash cow" in one of your recent posts, and it reminded me of this lyric (which I wrote back in the 90's). As you know, I'm not inclined to actually smoke grass either, but I thought it was funny to put it in the song in order to make a point. It is less harmful to the general public than tobacco, in my opinion.

Now, it's true you are in pretty good shape. The fact is some (a few) people are not affected much by smoking. Many others are definitely sickened and killed by it. It varies from person to person. You could say that about a lot of things. It's also true that you can find plenty of unhealthy nonsmokers...but you know why that is?

It's because there are at least 50,000 different ways (physical and psychological) in which a person can become unhealthy!!! :-) I won't endeavour to list them all here. Smoking is just one of them.

Now here's a question: Is it really worth it to go on winning this particular little symbolic victory over your mother...when you tally up the yearly $ expense? I may be wrong, but I think that's what it really amounts to. It's your declaration of independence against parental (in your case, maternal) domination. We who suggest that smoking is bad for people are not your mother!

Another couple of thoughts. You note that those who quit smoking gain weight. Yes! Not poisoning the body does tend to increase it's ability to injest nutrients effectively, and appetite gets increased too...as people have a yen to replace the smoke break with other forms of oral gratification...eating food, I mean. :-) However....consider just how THIN I might be then if I were a smoker!!!!!!! (gasp!) I might just disappear entirely if I were to take up smoking. :-) This would not be good. No, I think the reason your friends are gaining weight after quitting smoking is this: they are eating an overly rich North American diet and not getting enough exercise. What they need to do is not smoke...but eat a better diet and get more exercise!

Not bloody likely, right? (grin) Here's an idea, daylia...open a chain of health spas for weight loss. The program: Smoke more cigarettes daily in order to lose weight! See if you can get people up to 5 packs a day if that's what it takes. Anything is worth taking off those extra pounds, right? Women would really go for this, I think, because they almost all think they're overweight. I figure the tobacco industry would be willing to provide substantial financial aid to anyone who started such a program, so contact 'em and go for it! You could become the "weight loss queen" of Canada and maybe get the Order of Canada for it and get to meet Adrienne Clarkson.