First of all, I never claimed to have been published in the New Yorker, but I have been published in 2 magazines.

What I wrote was done in about 2-3 minutes, unedited, unchecked before I left to do something much more pressing.

Editors take care of grammar and spelling for all publications. This was just a 2-3 minute exercise basically to shut a few people up already.

I didn't write it to be judged because frankly, I could give a large bowel movement about it.