Lord, I could be reading about myself. You call your thread a "whine fest," you apologize for normal human behaviour (falling apart from grief is normal human behaviour); you thank people too much -- hey, be human, let go and howl and stop trying to be perfect and apologizing when you think you aren't. I assume Pete is your husband -- let him hold you and worry about you, and share your blood sugar info with him (he's entitled) and stop trying to Cope and Take it in Your Stride and Deal with it in a Mature, Responsible Fashion.

Be weak -- all strong people are allowed and entitled to be weak and to be taken care of. It's not permanent. Lean, cling, rely.

If you can take sick time from work, I think you should. You are sick with grief.

(Sorry for jumping in like this, but I really recognized myself in your posts.)