Update:

I went to the Dr. this morning. He changed my insulin, gave me sleeping pills and something to settle the panic I am feeling. Sooo..I will be a well rested zombie with (hopefully) more stable sugar levels. I am not fond of all the medications but it will work for now. The Dr. kept asking me if I felt any rage or extreme anger or frequent irritation...I don't feel any rage about anything....I am just SO tired.

My husband took the day off to go to the Dr. with me, then he took me out for lunch to one of my favorite spots (I think he's really just wanting me to eat something...which I did...not much...but more than yesterday). After lunch, I went to a noon service at my church. I think I heard half of what was said...but that's a start too. The timing of things is quite amazing...some of the things said in church were hitting me directly in the face.

There was a woman who walked out of the church with me...someone I didn't know...who asked me if I had children. I told her no (okay..that smarted) and then she went on to tell me that she had 4 children and as soon as she figured out why she kept having them, she quit. She said I was smart. I wanted to tell her that she was incredibly lucky. *sigh*

Now I'm home and I'm going to do SOMETHING productive...I don't know what it is yet but I am going to do SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!

I appreciate all the posts and PMs very much. I reread several of them over and over last night around 2:30am while I was banging around the house, unable to sleep.

Michelle