Spaw:

One of the real limitations of Older But Better is one's health. Not being able to run fast anymore isn't a particularly serious limitation for me, because I have fewer people chasing me now. If my eyesight isn't as good, it just means a change in prescriptions. But, it's another story if health problems limit your ability to get around, to see or do the simple things that we can still enjoy as we get older. A friend of ours woke up one morning, blind. Actually, I don't know whether she woke up that way, but one day she could see and the next day she was blind. I'd never even seen her wear glasses. She was in her early 90's... she's in her mid-90's, now, living alone and had just lost her husband. On top of that, she had very little money and was afraid she would lose her house. Up until she went blind, she'd still been fairly active... couldn't drive and didn't have any family, but plenty of friends got her around town. I'm sure if I'd been stupid enough to ask her if she was older but better, she would have clipped me about the head and ears with her cane, if she could have found me.

Fast forward another year, when all hope of an operation to correct the problem had disappeared. When we'd go to visit her, she had a radiant, sincere, smile to light up the room and she always talked very positively. Still does, although now the rest of her health is fading. If I'd asked her a year after she went blind if she was older but better, I think she would most likely have answered, "it's very hard not being able to see, but I am thankful that otherwise I am still blessed with good health, and I have mostly good days." That would be a realistic answer for her. She was thankful for what she still had.

A few months ago, my Mother fell in her apartment and broke her collar bone, her shoulder, two ribs in her lower back, her hip and a vertebrae in her lower back. This happened just before her 97th birthday. She was in such pain, and the likelihood of her ever being able to live on her own again was so remote, she just wanted to die.
But, she persevered through therapy so painful she screamed, because she wanted to enjoy her 97th birthday when my wife and I came out to visit. And she did. She was able to get out in a wheel chair, most of the pain was gone, and we ran ourselves ragged taking her out. Now, another six weeks later, the pain is gone completely, she's comfortably back in her apartment, can walk without a walker and is busily making plans for her 98th birthday. If I asked her today if she is older but better, I believe she'd answer "yes." She doesn't just remember the good times in the past. She remembers all the painful memories, too. She sees the good in her life, the friends that love her and a close family, and even though my Father died seven years ago, on balance, I think she's see enough things that are better that she'd answer "yes" to the question.

The thread isn't "Is Older Better?" That's far too subjective to answer. In some ways it is, and in some ways it isn't. The question is, Are YOU older but better. I believe that most people, even the woman who went blind could answer that in some ways SHE is better. Her life may be more limited, but she has found strength in coming through her trials.

So, buddy, isn't there anything in yourself that you see is better as you get older? Do you have any more patience? Do you appreciate the little things in life that would have been over your head when you were younger and engrossed in your own pleasure? Do you appreciate friendships more, or your family? Are you thankful for anything?

No, this thread is not bullshit. It's a positive way at looking at what we've gained as we've gotten older. There could be another thread on what we've lost. That would be as realistic as this one.

Jerry