We 'ave purchased a parrot and named it "Tony Blair". It's lovely to look at, but it keeps makin' a terrible screeching sound now and then wot could bloody well strip the paint off the bleedin' walls! The first time it did me 'usband, Eddie got such a shock that 'e stood right up off the couch. 'Is eyes popped wide open and 'e said, "Wot the bloody 'ell was that???!" Now 'e's gettin' used to it. I wish I could say the same! Still, I fink it's a bit of all right 'avin' a parrot, like, because it's an exotic bird wot most people don't 'ave and it makes for a good conversation piece. Eddie just ignores its screeching now, but I yell back at it, "Shut your gob, you nasty bird!" And then it screeches back at me. And then I yell back at it.

All in all, it's been noisy around 'ere. Eddie 'as turned up the volume on the telly very loud, and the parrot seems to like it that way.