Find someone who teaches the kind of music you are trying to learn how to play and start taking lessons--there is nothing that anyone can tell you in a post that will help you straighten this out,(and most of this stuff will just confuse you more) for the simple reason that, even if someone explains it, you will have no idea whether what you are doing is right or not--

I said it in another thread--but I'll say it again--when you are self-taught, your teacher doesn't know any more than you do---