Eric - I KNOW - personally, I'm not one for children in rough dives like mine but, I don't want to alienate customers - oh, sod it, you've talked me round - sorry folks, by an autocratic vote, children are off the menu.

Oh OK - I'll lay on a storyteller at weekends to teach them about their forefathers and keep them occupied while parents are enjoying the rest of the facilities - but NO FACE PAINTING!!! Ever - my final word!