If i owned a pub, i'd call it The Degenerate Swine. Every second drink would be free, smoking, swearing, fighting and other dubious activities would be actively encouraged. I wouldn't serve food, as it interferes with the absorbtion of alchohol, but poeple would be welcome to bring their own. There would be plenty of pool tables, and an array of instruments for anyone to pick up and play. It'd be open 24 hours, every day, and preferably frequented by the type of low-life scum i feel most comfortable in the company of.
The whole place would be underground, with huge open fires(ok, i don'tknow how the chimneys would work, but let's face it it's not going to happen!) and i'd have exotic dancers of both sexes and circus performers. In fact, there would be a flame thrower walking around lighting peoples ciggarettes. Oh, and there'd be drink to suit everyones taste, and free water!