Gee, Rick, and you were on the verge of edging onto my adult list!
John Beresford Tipton -- God, I wish I had thought of that. Totally hilarious. (Can I be your secretary? --

DOWN AND OUT BUM: "But who wants to give me a million dollars, tax free?"

SECRETARY: "I'm sorry, I can't tell you, he has his reasons, and if you ever found out who your patron was, we would have to come and take the money back again!"

DOWN AND OUT BUM: " Is it that John Tipton character you see on TV?"

SECRETARY: "Give me that cheque back you bum!" (They fight on the street corner over the wadded piece of paper. Police arrive.)

DOWN AND OUT BUM: "Officers, this guy was giving me a million dollars tax free from his secretive boss, John Tipton, and I was not allowed to guess who he was, and that is why we were fighting."

POLICEMAN: "Well of course John Beresford Tipton doesn't want anyone to find out, he hasn't been paying taxes on anything for the past 10 years. Haven't you read the morning paper? Tax-free, yeah, right -- the Tax people took him away in a van last night. I bet this secretary has a few things tucked away in that briefcase of his too. Come on buddy.........."

yours, Peter T.