How to wash a cat:-
1 Thoroughly clean the lavvy bowl.
   
2 Add the required amount of shampoo to the cludge water, and have both lids lifted.
   
3 Obtain the mingin' moggy and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
   
4 In one smooth movement, put mingin' moggy down the bog and close both lids.
   
5 Flush the lavvy three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which is most effective.
   

Note: You may need to stand on the lid so that the cat cannot escape.
   
6 Have someone to open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
   
7 Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
   
8 The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.
   
9 Repeat once cat is dry.

Signed "The Dog"!