Here are the lyrics to the Waterbed Polka, with one caveat: the song has never been commercially recorded (Bryan Bowers kept threatening to, but chickened out), so you would need my permission to do so.

Thirty years after its composition, it has a nice Ken Kesey acid flashback aura, and I believe it's as socially impertinent today as it was the evening I composed it.

No one may have gone broke underestimating the taste of the American public, but many of us have done so exposing it.

Best regards,

Larry Rand

"The Waterbed Polka"
Words & Music by Larry Rand
Copyright 1973

My name is Stash, I am hip,
I got class and pride,
I run the only head shop
On Chicago's Nort'west Side -
But now I sing a different tune,
Somethin' I been through:
CHORUS "The Waterbed Was Filled With Glue,
The Night That I Got Stuck With You,
Polka."

I thought you was a hippie,
Because you dressed that way -
I shoulda known, those shopping bags
Sure gave you away -
But a Peter Max babushka
Misled me, dear, it's true:
CHORUS

(THROBBING POLKA INTERLUDE)

When I talk about that evening,
Other people scoff -
About the time we got it on, and
Couldn't get it off!
I won't admit to bein' black, but
Boy, I sure am blue:
CHORUS, REPEAT CHORUS