Patronizing aunt to little boy: 'And what are you going to do when you get as big as your daddy, little man?' Little boy: 'Go on a diet!'

Seriously, I always wanted a big truck.... When I was four I used to play at being the coalman - can't be done now because a)I'm not a man, and b)there isn't any coal.

Actually there is still one pit working, but it is only a matter of time. And for those of you too young to have heard about it, coal is a black, shiny, fossil based rock that burns well for a long time. It was dug out of big holes in the ground by 'naked, sweating men', transported up and down (mostly down) the country by canal boats and later by rail, and was bagged up and delivered to houses that still had coal fires. I wanted to be the man who drives the truck and got to be dirty all day.

If I ever grow up, I'll let you know. I'm into my 30's, like riding on trolleys at the supermarket (you know, push off down the aisle and take your feet off the ground), I kick through piles of leaves, much to the delight of my daughter, and disgust of the roadsweeper, and I skip down roads when I'm happy.... Had to do the responsibility thing rather early in life, due to mother in ill health, so I'm making up for it now!

Liz the Squeak