These are excepts – the first few lines, unless the number is preceeded with a * – of poems considered to be “bad.”

We’re talking “bad” like the poems of the eternal Julia Moore or those of the ubiquitous William McGonagall (neither of whom are represented here). And these have been judged “bad” not by me, but by at least three reputable poets. All were written in English, and no single nationality is solely
represented.

See if you can name the authors and the titles - at least it’ll get your mind off politics!

Answers Friday.

1. A century was fading fast,
When o’er its closing decade passed
A matron’s figure, chaste and bold,
Who held within her girdle’s fold
                    A bran’ new hatchet.

2. Stretch forth! Stretch forth! from the south to the north!
From the east to the west, – stretch forth! Stretch forth!
Strengthen thy stakes, and lengthen thy cords, --
The world is a tent for the world’s true lords!

3. I’m nine years old! an’ you can’t guess how much I weigh, I bet!
Last birthday I weighed thirty-three! An’ I weigh thirty yet!

4.      Death!
         Plop.
The barges down the river flop.
         Flop, plop,
Above, beneath.

*5. His Mighty Balls – in death were thick –
But searching – I could see
A Vision on the Retina
Of Water – and of me –

6. Where Claribel low-lieth
   The breezes pause and die,
      Letting the rose-leaves fall;
But the solemn oak-tree sigheth,
      Thick-leaved, ambrosial,
    With ancient melody
     Of an inward agony,
Where Claribel low-lieth.

7. As I ride, as I ride,
With a full heart for my guide,
So its tide rocks my side,
As I ride, as I ride.

8. We have seen thee, queen of cheese,
Lying quietly at your ease,
Gently fanned by evening breeze,
Thy fair form no flies dare seize.

9. She walks – the lady of my delight –
        A shepherdess of sheep.

*10. Dim moon-eyed fishes near
Gaze at the gilded gear
And query: “What does this vaingloriousness down here?”