The way I learned it back in the early 1930s it had three more verses

As I came in the other night as drunk as I could be
I saw a head in my bed where my head oughta be
I said to my wifey dear what does this mean to me
What is that head doing in my bed where my head ougta be
She said you fool you drunken fool as you can plainly see
It is just a cabbage head your grandma send to me
I've roamed the world this dog gone world
I've roamed the world oer
But a mustache on a cabbage head I've never seen before

When I came in the other night as druink as I could be
I saw a pin in my hole where my pin oughta be
I said to my wifey dear what does this mean to me
What is that pin doing in my hole where my pin oughta be
She said you fool you drunken fool as you can plainly see
It's just a rolling pin your grandma sent to me
I've roamed this world this dog gone world
I've roamed this world oer
But Balls on a rolling pin I've never seen before

When I came in the other night as drunk as I could be
I saw a kid in my bed where my kid oughta be
I said to my wifey dear what does this mean to me
What is that kid doing in my bed where my kid oughta be
She said you fool you drunken fool as you can plainly see
It's just a monkey that your grandma sent to me
I've roamed this world this dog gone world
I've roamed this world oer
But a diaper on a monkey's ass I've never seen before