when I worked on the inquiry line at work, a bloke said "You mean I have to ask a question to get information?" (no, we are mind readers)

another time I told a University student that his library held copies of our publications -
"But where's my library?" he said in a very puzzled voice
"Sorry, I've never been to your campus," I said politely

At work I have a large file full of goobers (= dumb things we have been asked over the years), don't get me started, I could take over this thread!!