I, of course, spent time pondering this question. I did a lot of research, read a lot, explored, talked to people. I came to my own conclusion. One of the books I read helped a lot. It is called

The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm.

A book with really good ideas and explanations. Give it a try. It might help.

You have to follow your own path.

Love, Annamill