Dear Ima Gittin',

I remember someone named Ima Dumbass posting to one of the Dr. Guitar threads. Are you related?

Of course, if you were related it would also mean that you are Chinese since it is the first names that match and Chinese folks put their surnames first. Obviously, Gittin' and Dumbass are not the same name, so you cannot be related unless you are Chinese, even though Ima Dumbass may be gittin' some and Ima Gittin' may be a dumbass, though I am in no way qualified to make that judgement and only mention it as a hypothetical possibility.

In fact, the only MOABite to whom the term Dumbass could be applied with absolutely no room for error or uncertainty is Tweed. Tweed's total lack of anything resembling mental acuity is a universally accepted fact throughout the entire realm of MOAB. And now that Tweed is not merely Tweed, but Tweed Who is Aslo khandu, the situation seems to be even worse. We had hoped that by combining Tweed's cashew-sized brain and khandu's acorn-sized brain a small glimmer of intelligence might somehow penetrate the dense fog known to occupy Tweed's cranial cavity. But, alas, in complete violation of common sense, the boy has actually gotten dumber since becoming the King of Mizzippi as well as the Mayor of Tweedsburg. It's as if Tweed's brain and khandu's brain had a knock-down drag-out fight over who was going to get to lay claim to all the empty space within Tweed's head and they both lost.

Yore's,

Bee-dubya-ell, The King's Royal Knower of Things