The boy stood on the burning deck
Wishing he'd never been born.
His mother said "You wouldn't have
If the rubber hadn't torn"

Late last night I killed my wife.
Laid her on the parquet flooring.
I was loath to take her life
But I HAD to stop her snoring!

I eat my peas with honey,
I've done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny
But it keeps them on the knife.