Hi ladyjean, Im not quite sure what you mean, it sounds like you are saying "dont try to force something thats not there" am i right? I know of people who have done just that, not accepting the fact that their child has problems, its cruel, I havent done that with Katie, I constantly try new things so she can try to reach her full potential, but I accepted long ago that she will never be a brain surgeon :) to be honest, years ago, i said as long as she wakes up every morning that enough for me,and I still say that, but, its amazing how many people are quick to condem me for it, saying I arent giving her a chance, I should force things a bit more, whatever anyone does when they have a child with a disability they cannot win, it would seem, good job Katie is mine and not theirs, I say! any opinions??? best wishes sue