Thank you Sir John Evans, even now your free SCAMSPAM software is winging its way to you and will be delivered to you on Friday evening at the Marlborough Club, Hull. Look out for our corporately badged delivery pigeon and ask him for details of other amazing offers.

Yes Sir John Evans you have been specially chosen for targetting now we have nearly all your personal details. All we need now is your normal inside leg measurement so that we can forward your handy personalised wallpapering suit (see item no. 127 on todays list of extractions from your account @ only £74.99 + carriage). Send no money now, we'll take it for you. Why not get a friend to subscribe and both of you will receive a free recycled AA battery.

Send off now for details of our inexpensive debt management service. No fee no win. Why not mortgage your soul now.