Uhuh. Yup. Sure.

Why didn't he just shove 'em both in while they were amorously encoupled? But to help you, Bee-Dubya-Ell, overcome this canine encounter, here's some cat haiku that was sent to me this morning. You know I didn't do it because 1) I don't write haiku and b) even if I did, this is better than what I could write.

Cat Haiku

The food in my bowl
Is old, and more to the point
Contains no tuna.
----

So you want to play.
Will I claw at dancing string?
Your ankle's closer.
----

There's no dignity
In being sick -- which is why
I don't tell you where.
----

Seeking solitude
I am locked in the closet.
For once I need you.
----

Tiny can, dumped in
Plastic bowl. Presentation,
One star; service: none.
----

Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backwards:
This pillow's taken.
----

Your mouth is moving;
Up and down, emitting noise.
I've lost interest.
----

The dog wags his tail,
Seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.
----

My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?
----

Most problems can be
Ignored. The more difficult
Ones can be slept through.
----

My affection is conditional.
Don't stand up,
It's your lap I love.
----

Cats can't steal the breath
Of children. But if my tail's
Pulled again, I'll learn.
----

I don't mind being
Teased, any more than you mind
A skin graft or two.
----

So you call this thing
Your "cat carrier." I call
These my "blades of death."
----

Toy mice, dancing yarn
Meowing sounds. I'm convinced:
You're an idiot.