There's one in every club (almost).

I did have a name in mind when I wrote it, but my lips are sealed.

As for singing it to your instance of this dire phenomenon, remember "Home on the Range' where 'never is heard a discouraging word'. And besides, if you were riveted by every singer, when would you use the loo and buy the next round?

(perhaps I missed a couplet there?
If you don't like the sound, then go buy one more round,
When I'm done, there'll be no one who's sober.

Nah - leave well enough alone)