You need to understand that the reason why strong boundaries are so important is that you want them to be afraid of what you will say, think, or do if you find out about something they know they shouldn't be doing.

Though most of GUEST's post works for me, this remark didn't. Too much fear in the formula leads to hiding problems until they're too big to be handled within the family by the parent working with the child. While they do need to know your thoughts on important issues, they need to be able to anticipate your reaction will be rational, and know that they can tell you if something is really really wrong. That didn't come through in that particular part of GUEST's statement.

SRS