" talk to them, talk to them, talk to them, all the time. Explain what you feel, what you think and why "
I'm sure that's right for a lot of kids, and a lot of times. But I suspect that for others that may not actually be the right way.
Companionable silence has a place as well, and putting some things on the side till it's a better time to talk about them.
Basically till they are down, they come first - but putting them first sometimes means really getting up their nose, when it would be much more fun to just go along with their wishes.