My kids and I have always been extremely close, and so once the teen years hit, it was, in many ways, much harder for them to separate from me than it is for kids who aren't that tight with their parents. I've also been really, really lucky neither of my kids have been into drugs and the party life. They are into the straight edge punk scene, which I will always be grateful for, because there is a strong abstinence component to it. I did absolutely nothing to get my daughter (our eldest) into the scene, she found it all on her own.

That said, I also have friends whose middle child, a daughter, has been an absolute nightmare to raise. She drove without a license, smoked, drank, disappeared for days, ran away constantly, kept flunking in school, and recently gave birth to her first child at 16. And she has parents who are very decent people, but not very good people. Mom is a very invasive and critical mom (like the mom mentioned above) and dad is a largely absent dad who ironically works with kids just like his daughter, whom he did virtually nothing to help. Mom went to court, to the social worker & principal's office, called the police when the daughter was missing or out of line, etc.

Both parents smoke cigarettes, and mom smokes pot (even gets it from her oldest daughter). So while on the one hand, mom is very strict (as her own screwed up mother was), she also is extremely permissive about the things she herself does, like smoke cigarettes and pot, drinks and drives, that sort of thing. So truly, the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree, but sometimes it grows up to be much bigger and stronger than the parent tree!

My heart just aches for all of them. This one child has nearly single handedly destroyed this otherwise pretty good (though obviously dysfunctional) family. They all refused to get counseling, BTW. They just wanted their problem child "fixed" not to have to face their own dysfunctions and contributions to the problem child being who and what she is being similar to who and what the parents are like.