I agree SRS. When we choose to have kids, we must also choose to make decisions that put their needs at the top of the list in our lives. I'm in complete agreement with the idea that kids need to be near their father more than they need a more progressive climate to be raised in. I have several divorced friends who did the same thing, putting getting a partner in their life on the back burner until their kids were out of high school for the same reasons you mention (well, ok, none of them was in grad school, but all worked, etc etc).

However, I also have divorced friends raising kids who just keep going on in temporary serial monogamous relationships too, and in this regard, put themselves before their kids. I haven't seen any pattern that one choice has resulted in the kids turning out better than the other. I think if it was me, I'd choose as you have, but that is because to me it seems that life would be easier without the relationship complications. But I don't know that means that path is more right than involving one's self in relationships is as a single parent, so I try not to judge parenting ability on that sort of criteria.

My friends with the real problem child are very decent people, but not very good people. I know that sounds crazy, but it is true. These are responsible people in terms of finances, in terms of being polite and well educated, no conflicts with the law, upstanding in the community, professional middle class, that sort of thing. But they aren't very good people because of their dysfunctions. Sorta like the old sexist descriptions of girls in high school being either good girls or nice girls. They aren't very good at parenting. With easy kids, that isn't much of a problem. With more complex and difficult to raise kids, it's a disaster.