I think there may be a misunderstanding about "giving them space."

I mean that we shouldn't micro-manage our children's lives. At some point they have to manage without expecting us to jump in and sort it all out. They have to be responsible for their actions.

I, too, am a teacher and understand perfectly well why children need boundaries (thats why they have parents and teachers).

Sure, kids need to know that its a scary world and that they have to be careful but I don't think that includes fearing your parents. Fear, guilt and shame just shut down the communication.

I work with seven year olds. The children that are controlled by fear, shame and guilt are the most difficult to manage in class. When these kids are away from their parents, anything goes. In other words, they have no internal locus of control. When a child is tightly controlled by their parents, they do not develop the internal control mechanisms that are necessary to survive in the larger society. Its a fine balance.