el_punkoid smirked gently at the thought of furry thongs. "That'd keep me toes nice and warm" he muttered. Mindful of LtS's advice, and having a mildly scorched bum, he sidled away from the fire, and eyed up the heap of recorders in the corner of the bar.

"Nah - done that trick. What this fire needs is a bit more willow - these cricket bats will do nicely, now we've finished the Zimbabwe tour. What we really need is a good pair of bellows."

He looked around the crowd. "Anyone got a concertina? Accordion maybe?" he yelled.

He turned to the bar. "Hey, waiter" he called. "have you got Frogs Legs?"

"Well hop over here with an alligator sandwich, and make it snappy!". The punkoid was not reknowned for his sparklingly original wit...