Arr..that's thee Ideear, Matee. We plan to beat them soundly at Football, tie them elves up..force 'em down the plank right into the cold, cruel Sea, yes we shall.

Or...

Perhaps we''ll merely dip 'em in the cold, cruel Sea and then leave 'em at the Magnetic South Pole to form hundreds of pathetic little Elf-sicles.

Har..har..aarrr!
>cough<
>spit<
Arrh!

Then WE run Christmas from here on in. No Creches. No silly little useless gifts. Just Beer, rum & whiskey. Maybe a pearl or two for the girls. It'll be sweet boys. Baudy carols to sing, lots of wassail and NO giving to charities.

Join the team! Ol' Keith has the sign up list.

Peg Leg Pierce
International SpokesPirate
ChairPirate of the 2004 Beat The Elves Committee