In what is probably the biggest story since...

the end of World War II?

1066?

The Flood?

Well, it's hard to say, but, YES, you heard it here first and it's all true!!!

In a small private ceremony attended only by close family members and friends, Twillingsgate's most famous socialite, Ms Penelope Rutledge, was married earlier today to....are you ready for this...?

(take a deep breath and sit down...)














Winston Wellington-Jones!

Yes, the well-known local scion of the Wellington-Joneses and childhood playmate and companion of Ms Rutledge has stolen a march on all possible rivals and won the hand of his beloved in a storybook love match that will surely stir the hearts of many and leave a few aggrieved persons gasping for breath!

Wellington-Jones and Ms Rutledge grew up as neighbours, with the Rutledge Mansion and the Wellington-Jones Estate situated side by side in the most prestigious section of all Twillingsgate on lovely Imperial Drive, with their properties merging at the back into the verdant expanses of Idlewood Forest. It was there that the young Penelope and Winston frolicked as children in the 1980's and where the ten-year-old Winston once kissed Penelope under the gazebo (the Rutledge gazebo, to be precise).

Despite that early incident, seemingly favorable to his suit, Winston sporadically wooed Penelope in his late teens and twenties with no success, while he also was known to be...interested...in a great many other Twillingsgate damsels. Indeed Winston and Penelope had been known to quarrel sharply on more than a few occasions, although these disagreements, based on philosophical differences one assumes, never seriously threatened to end their abiding friendship nor to cause enmity between their families.

Ms Rutledge was recently linked romantically with the dashing Major Nigel West, who is presently recuperating from wounds suffered in Iraq...and with the notorious Spanish playboy Arturo Espinoza. In events that still remain mysterious Ms Rutledge returned from Spain in early December with a mark on her left cheek which some say could be...a duelling scar. Fortunately, the said scar is rather small and does not seriously compromise Ms Rutledge's appearance.

Indeed, the bride was reputed to be glowing at the ceremony, where she appeared dressed in traditional white with a stunning jeweled tiara. As Mr Wellington-Jones placed the ring on her finger there was reputedly not a dry eye in the entire assemblage. Wellington-Jones was well turned out in a tuxedo and tails, with a red carnation on the lapel.

Ms Rutledge is well known for her pioneering efforts in securing homes for homeless animals. She is also an accomplished equestrian, an amateur polo player, and a fine hand with the epee, the saber, and the rapier. Mr Wellington-Jones is a polo player and equestrian of top level, an avid marksman and sportsman, and an aficionado of vintage sports cars and medieval weaponry and heraldry.

The Twillingsgate Herald has been unable to ascertain who the Best Man was at the wedding, but we did have a moment to put the question to Mr Wellington-Jones this evening just before he and Ms Rutledge sped off in his Bentley to an undisclosed honeymoon location.

"So, you want to know who the best man was, do you, Estuary?" he quipped. "You're looking at him!" And with that, off they went.

So, there you have it. All these years we've been anticipating an enormous public marriage attended by everyone who is anyone in Twillingsgate and surrounding areas...and Ms Rutledge and her new husband Winston have had a good joke on all of us, making off with it right under our noses! I, for one, can only admire their good tactical judgement in this regard. The Christmas festivities at Rutledge Mansion and Wellington-Jones Estate promise to be lavish beyond expectation. The parties prodigious. The libations legendary. Be there! We at the Twillingsgate Herald certainly shall be.

- Mortimer Estuary, Twillingsgate Herald, Evening *Special* Edition