Just a quick entry on the laptop here. Major Nigel West was indeed the Best Man at our wedding, and has proven himself a true gentleman and friend, a man who is not found wanting in time of need. Penelope and I regard him with great affection and respect, and number him among the very best that England has in these lamentable times.

The remark I made to that press vulture, Mortimer Estuary, was nothing more than a joke. I just couldn't resist frustrating his slimy attempts to glean further gossip.

We have rented a cozy little retreat in the Cotswolds and look forward to spending a few days in relative peace here.

My best wishes to all of our friends and supporters and to the domestic staff who did their utmost to assist us and whose loyalty and sensitivity has been above and beyond the call of duty!

Yours,

WWJ

p.s. Guest E.M., don't be silly. Life does not end with the failure of a transatlantic fantasy romance. Pick yourself up, man, have a drink or two, and get on with it. You will never win a woman with such histrionics...or if you did, she wouldn't be worth the bother. As for your parrot, I hardly think it needs a therapist! You are the one who needs a therapist. I just arranged to buy a parrot from someone on Ebay as a matter of fact, as a wedding present for Penelope, and for all I know it may be yours, old chap. But probably not... Have a stiff drink or two and forget about it. That's my advice.