Don't that Drat Sir John O'Hull reside in one of them silly Channel Boats? Weez could tech 'im a right lesson iffin we all hopped aboard a dingy..rowed up to Hill and sank 'im without ceremony. No need to cross sowrds, jess poke a hole in Hull's hull..so ter speak. Harrr harr har.

The enemies of Priates THIS Yuletide time are ELVES...nasty, snivling..CUTE Elves they be, with silly names like Hopsy Baby Curls and Frolic Toes Twinkle.

They're evangelizing via some dastardly christmastime site encouragin' the masses to plunk in thur names and then it does spit out a VILE Elf name. Woe is the world, says I. Tis an Evil Elf plot. They must be stopped.

Pirates unite against the Elves before it's too late and all the world has cute elf names!

Peg Leg Pierce
Co-chair of the Pirates Versus Elves 2004 Committee

P.S. Apologies t' Eric O'Red...never meant to suggest he was as vile as Eric O'Viking..baby buggerer, sheep buggerer and Sheep-dog Buggerer. Even >I< won't sail with Eric O'Viking and that's sayin' something.