Those drat sneaky Elves did it.

It is a well-known fact that Victor is a Pirate, comes from a long line of Pirates and supports us in our bid to ovethrow the Elves and take over Christmas. They play for keeps, those underhanded Elves.

The way I hear it, he refused to adopt the stupid Elf name that they gave him....Vickie Tumblethump Twitzi-Toes. This is their revenge.

And you just KNOW where that got that Agent Orange...

They struck an under the table deal with Dubbaya to make the North Pole a Toxic Waste Dump.

The truth will out.