Never squat with your spurs on.
               —Old cowboy saying

It's so cold they had to euthanize a whole bunch of brass monkeys.
                                                                               —Dick Cavett

"Are you lost, daddy?" I arsked tenderly.
"Shut up!" he explained.
             —The Young Immigrants by Ring Lardner

Back in the Fifties and Sixties, I had a friend who wasn't a singer himself (essentially tone-deaf), but he loved folk music His living room was available just about every weekend for songfests, and we had some great ones there. Anyway, he was of the Jewish persuasion, and he had a couple of quotes written in Hebrew, framed and hung on his living room wall. One evening I asked him what they said, and he translated them for me.

If I am not for myself, then who am I?
If I am only for myself, then what am I?
If not now, when?
                                     —Rabbi Hillel

Before he died, Rabbi Zusya of Hanipal said, "In the world to come, they will not ask me, 'Why were you not Moses?' They will ask me, 'Why were you not Zusya?'"
                                                                                                                                        —Tales of Hasidim

Don Firth