The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #76499   Message #1356201
Posted By: flattop
13-Dec-04 - 11:16 PM
Thread Name: BS: Karaoke,isnt this music?
Subject: RE: BS: Karaoke,isnt this music?
Not great - the greatest. Just stay sober enough to find the mike and the monitor. If not, sloshed friends can turn you in the right direction and prop you up. Drink lots. Smoke dope outside in the night frost. You don't have to practice. You don't have to tune instruments. Listen to those backup singers. Listen to those wonderful musicians. Listen to that punchy recording. Can't sing in key? Good for a laugh. Sing, "You ain't woman enough to take my man," before she does. Totter off the foot high stage. Twist you ankle. Get carried to a table by fellow inebriates. Dance watching her body shouting to strange woozy men. Watch her dance a slow one with an old flame after you trudge off angrily. Punch your cousin in the face. Smash her glasses.   Wake the bouncers. Give them good reason to beat the crap out of you. Make them laugh, put their arms around you and walk you outside to sober up. Fight family and friends in the parking lot. Swear at the drug-dealer before he gets killed with a baseball bat. Slash tires. Piss by the front fender of the car. Let her overhear you saying, "Do we have to drive that bitch?" Then tell her "You're ok, not really a bad person." Make her wonder, "Who said I wasn't ok? What the fuck are they saying about me?" Chase after your drug-crazed mother in your mini skirt and heels. Confuse the gray-haired man's Chrysler with a taxi. Jump in the front seat. Drive off drunk. Turn up the radio until the speakers fart. Listen to her rant all night when you want to sleep. Tell each other you had a great time. Get that urge to sing again as you sober up.