Dear Charmion,

Sincere apologies for any delay in the dispatch of your gift, we have had a small administrational hiccup here. Seems a band of rogue elves decided it would be amusing to deliver presents to the children on the 'naughty' list this year. Of course we try very hard to be inclusive in all our seasonal endeavours but feel that rehabilitation rather than encouragement is the way forward for some of our more behaviourally uninhibited participants. Also reindeer hijack is strictly against our policy especially as it can be very difficult to reintegrate them into the team after such an ordeal and subsequently they may not be fully embraced by our 'reindeer games' scheme. Please be assured however, that counselling will be made available and this unfortunate incident has now been put firmly behind us. I am also pleased to inform you that your present is currently on its way to you and should arrive in plenty of time for Christmas.

Best festive wishes to you, ho ho ho an' all that
Santa