Imagine a group of fat, bearded blokes, all bouncing up and down, nearly in time with each other, if not with the strains of a melodeon, drum and (quite often out of tune) fiddle. One of the prominent motifs is the bell, another is beer. That's morris dancing. It can be done occasionally by athletic young Lochinvars, who are spot on and precise in their stepping and music, but that isn't all that often, and usually only in dreams. One point to note though, is that morris dancers usually have lovely butts. I am qualified to do this, because, not only have I had 4 boyfriends who were dancers, I married a dancer,2 of his previous girlfriends danced, his brother is a dancer. I danced myself once or twice, with my sister in law and her mother, my best friend's cousin is a highly esteemed dancer and I've marched with the Albion Morris team at a parade in Toronto on July 4th. I have even sewn up a baldrick!

Yes, girls can do it too, although they are quite often laughed at, and some deserve it, and they get to be butch and macho or pretty flowery pansy things.

My advice to anyone who wants to take it up - make sure you start with a team that are patient, and make mistakes themselves, a team that think they are the best in the country are very often not!! Start local unless you are chronically embarassed and above all, don't mind being laughed at - there is a lot of laughing at Morris Dancing... Oh, it helps if you can quaff beer. Quaffing is like drinking, but you spill more...

LTS