A couple of other work-related saws (with apologies to Dilbert, C. Northcote Parkinson and others):


"Think ! or thwim !" [1]
"I have features. You have bugs. His/hers crashes."
"You want it yesterday ? OK, go back to two days ago and ask for it."[2]



From (UK comedian) Jack Dee:

Q. Does this hat go with this dress ?
A. Yes. They're both horrible.



[1]. Legend has it that IBM posted their notorious, "THINK !" message all over their HQ, including above the sinks in their toilets (washrooms). The next day, little stickers which read, "THOAP !" appeared above the soap dispensers.

[2]. I wish I had said that, once. It might have got me fired. As it turned out I was unfairly dismissed two months later for having failed to provide it yesterday. I would have saved myself several weeks stress.