A fellow walked--no, he staggered--into the bar last night. He had to use the facilities. The bartender directed him to the men's room. About a minute later a piercing scream came from the room. It was followed about ten seconds later by another wail of agony. We began to run to the bathroom. Another scream greeted us as we went through the door. The fellow was sitting down and he had tears in his eyes. The bartender asked him what was the matter. The fellow said, "I tried flushing the toilet three times, and something kept grabbing my testicles and crushing them." The bartender replied, "You stuipd a55hole, you're sitting on the mop bucket!"