Dear Mr. Finger,

Your Secret Santa's legal counselor assures me that your Secret Santa asserts that your Secret Santa present has indeed been posted to you. Your Secret Santa's legal counsel also suggests that you "be patient or drink yourself into a stupor (not that anyone could tell the difference) until your present arrives, delivered by an official, UNIFORMED representative of Queen Elizabeth II."

Your Secret Santa's legal couselor also states that your Secret Santa does not and cannot be held legally or morally responsible for gifts sent by you to someone else. Appropriate legal citations will be supplied upon request, and should you persist in attempting to hold your Secret Santa responsible in this matter appropriate legal action of several sizes will be taken against you at the Dives Assizes.

We remain, Mr. Finger,

Sincerely yours,

(signed)

J. Amanda Lily Lilithsdotter
Special Assistant Counsel To The Counselor-General

Elvenstone, Elvenhaus, and Bluebell
Barristers
Lower Upper Middle Temple Bar