"His & Hers New Year's Resolutions & Goals"

The Basic Difference: His (Y) / Hers (X)

X: Lose weight / Go on a diet / Drink more water
Y: One case beer per weekend (unless having guys over or Superbowl weekend)

X: ONLY one chocolate bar per week
Y: ONLY three nights at topless bar per week

X: Workout - Jog/Step Bench 5 times week
Y: Move furniture to find lost little black book and bedroom TV remote

X: Subscribe to Shape/Fitness Magazine
Y: Call 1-800 number to get on Victoria's Secret catalog mailing list

X: Go on romantic second date with Bob/Accounting
Y: Score on second date with Suzy/Marketing

X: Get organized/clean house
Y: Give old Penthouse mags to Goodwill (or younger brother)

X: Buy new Daily Planner
Y: Buy new little Black Book if no luck under furniture

X: Find out name of tall good-looking guy in Finance
Y: Score with tall, long-legged Blonde in Finance

X: Read More / Less TV
Y: Buy Dish - More sports channels!!

X: Watch quality TV with positive messages
Y: When surfing DO NOT stop on "Allie McBeal" -EVER

X: Plan budget / Save more money
Y: Only three nights at topless bar per week