A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!"
Quite curious about this, he notices a hole in the fence, and looks in.

Someone inside pokes him in the eye.

Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, "Fourteen! Fourteen!
Fourteen!"
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A man is feeling very ill, goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed
to hospital to undergo tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private
room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings.

"This is your doctor. We've had the results back from your tests and we've
found you have an extremely nasty STD called G.A.S.H. It's a combination of
gonareah, AIDS, syphilis, and herpes!"

"My gosh, doctor! What are you going to do?"

"Well we're going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread."

"Will that cure me?"

"Well no, but it's the only food we can get under the door."

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A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, come in on a fairly regular
basis. After the second week, he made his move. "No thank you." she said
politely. "This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I'm keeping
myself pure until I meet the man I love."

"That must be rather difficult." the man replied.

"Oh, I don't mind too much." she said. "But, it has my husband pretty upset."