An english tourist is driving around Scotland. He is lost, and stops the car at the first pub he sees and walks in. He says to the publican, "I say, Jock ! What's the quickest way to get to Edinburgh ?"

The landlord pauses in the act of cleaning a glass and says, "Are you driving or walking ?"

"I'm driving, of course !"

"Aye, well that's the quickest way, right enough."