Form the paper that today spent 3 pages telling us what a racist pig Ron Atkinson, comes this delightful artice by Bill Burrows- a vile piece of pondlife if ever there was one.




'T HE people of the Yorkshire Dales have recently taken a decision to prevent the rest of us moving into a new house in their part of the world.

But then they are from Yorkshire.

They like to refer to it as "God's county". What a shame! He spent so much on the set and then found out he had nothing left to spend on the cast.

All new houses and barn conversions in the National Park are to be made available for sale at "affordable prices" to local people. And no one else.

No, not you. Not your family. Nobody else. Especially not a Mancunian such as myself.

These homes are for plain-talking, straightforward, a spade-is-a-spade Yorkshire types.

Or, as the rest of the country regards them, buffoons with no manners whatsoever.

This is all about regionalism, racism's snotty little brother.

"At the moment, most house building in the Yorkshire Dales National Park is open market," Peter Watson, the head of planning for the park authority, has declared. That means "anyone can buy them".

Hold the front page. "Free democratic society in you can live wherever you want" shocker.

Hang on, there is a (cough) "brain drain" of young Yorkshire Dales folk to the surrounding towns and cities - you know who I mean, you see them standing on street corners, pointing at planes.

As the late, great Les Dawson once observed, "Yorkshire is like Lancashire but without the O-levels."

While we're at it, let's disregard the idea that the locals are even remotely aware that, without this influx of cash from outsiders, they would be reduced to selling their organs on the net.

That's the lung and kidney variety - not the wood-effect versions made by Hammond.'