I have been reflecting upon my desire to remain as ignorant as possible regarding Geez. Why am I so adamantly resisting the urge to just type "Geez" into Google's search window and let myself be whelmed with information?

I believe that the answer is inexorably tied, in some as yet poorly understood way, to the fundamental nature of BS. Is not a certain level of ignorance a prerequisite for spouting truly copious amounts of BS? Think back to your college days. Weren't your most BS-ridden papers about the subjects which you understood the least?

Given what I know of Geez at this moment, if a college professor were to ask me to write a 200-word essay on Geez it would be something along the lines of:

Geez is an ancient Ethiopian language. Ethiopia, as we all know, is a nation on the African continent which, many years after Geez was no longer spoken there, came to be ruled by the late Emperor Haile Selassie who, for some poorly understood reason, was posthumously elevated to a a position of extreme reverence by a Jamaican religious sect known as the Rastafarians. Rastafarianism is noted for its sacramental use of "ganja" or Marijuana as part of its religious ceremonies. Other interesting aspects of Rastafarianism are its practitioners' tendencies to refer to the Supreme Being as "I" and to wear their hair in "dreadlocks". In the 1970's, a musical style known as "reggae", whose principle practitioners were Rastafarians, became extremely popular world-wide and white kids around the world began to wear their hair in dreadlocks and smoke ganja at Grateful Dead concerts. To the best of my knowledge, these dreadlock-wearing young people did not speak Gleez, though they did occasionally suffer from acute outbreaks of lice.