The Twelve Days After ChristmasThe 1st day after Christmas, my true love and I had a fight and so I chopped that pear tree down and burned it just for spite. And with a single cartridge, I shot that blasted partridge, my true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.
The 2nd day after Christmas, I pulled on the old rubber gloves and very gently wrung the necks of both those turtle doves.
The 3rd day after Christmas, my mother caught the croup. I had to use those 3 french hens to make some chicken soup.
The 4 calling birds were a big mistake, for their language was obscene. The 5 gold rings were completely fake for they turned my fingers green.
The 6th day after Christmas, the 6 laying geese wouldn't lay. And so I turned the whole darn bunch into the ASPCA.
The 7th day after Christmas, oh, what a mess I found. All 7 of those swimming swans had just mysteriously drowned.
The 8th day after Christmas, before they could suspect; I bundled up the 8 maids a milking, 9 ladies dancing, 10 lords a leaping, 11 pipers piping, 12 drummers drumming and sent them back collect.
I wrote my true love, we are through love, and I said in so many words, "And further more your Christmas gifts are for the birds!"