Shanghaiceltic,

Thanks for starting this thread. This is the kind of dire straits I wouldn't mind being in. Imagine having such a good excuse to get shitfaced.

Charley,

Thanks for the kind words. Means a lot coming from you, a "Catter" of your good standing. So, here's the song again, with some changes and an added verse to mention the mountains.

And, for Just John,

I added another verse to work in "Bladder Day Saint." Thanks for the idea.   

Borrowed tune: She'll Be Comin' 'Round The Mountain

I'm a Slovak by the name of Richard Kral,
And on me this high adventure did befall,
Well, I'm lucky that I'm here,
And I owe my life to beer,
Now here's my tale, as best I can recall.   

In the Slovak Tatra Mountains this occurred.
Now, I realize my story sounds absurd.
It sounds far-fetched to me, too,
But I swear to you it's true.
It's the damndest tale that you have ever heard.

I was drivin' 'round the mountain in my car,
I was drivin' 'round the mountain in my car,
In my Audi I was going,
And Lord, how it was snowing!
I was drivin' 'round the mountain in my car.

I got buried in an avalanche of snow!
There was tons of it on top, with me below.
When I realized what hit me,
I knew no one'd come to git me,
'Cause my whereabouts nobody'd ever know.

Well, I sat there all alarmed and filled with fear,
And I thought, "You're in a real pickle here!"
Then I rolled down the window,
Tried to use my hands to scoop snow,
Which was futile, so I quit and had a beer.

I had with me sixty bottles of that brew,
As I sat and contemplated what to do,
I drank one, and then another,
And then I thought, "Oh bother!
When I need a pee, what am I going to do?!"

Then a plan began to take shape in my brain,
The more I drink, the more I'll need to drain,
I recalled, once in a blizzard,
When I had to "drain the lizard",
Where I peed, it left a melted, yellow stain.

So, I set about in earnest to get free,
I drank and drank until I had to pee,
When I pissed, the snow would melt,
And even though it smelt,
I kept going out of sheer necessity.

Just as my beer supply was running low,
I had pissed my way through 15 feet of snow,
Stumbling legless down the pass,
I kept on falling on my ass,
Then a rescue team conveyed me down below.

My poor kidneys hurt from making so much pee,
And my liver? Well, we'll have to wait and see.
Though a pious man I ain't,
I'm now the "Bladder Day Saint",
For my feat has made me a celebrity.

SND