"Golf Injury"

On a busy Med/Surg floor the doctor stops the nurse
to brief her on a patient's condition. "This patient is
a fellow physician and my favorite golf partner. His
injury is serious and I fear he will not be able to
play golf again unless you follow my orders exactly."

The doctor then began listing orders: "You must give
an injection in a different location every twenty minutes
followed by a second injection exactly five minutes after
the first. He must take two pills at exactly every hour
followed by one pill every fifteen minutes for eight hours.
He must drink no more and no less than ten ounces of
water every twenty-five minutes and must void between.

Soak his arm in warm water for fifteen minutes then
place ice for ten minutes and repeat over and over for the
rest of the day. Give range of motion every thirty minutes.
He requires a back rub and foot rub every hour. Feed
him something tasty every hour. Be cheerful and do
whatever he asks at all times. Chart his condition and
vital signs every twenty minutes. You must do these things
exactly as I ordered or his injury will not heal properly, and
he will not able to play golf well."

The nurse left the doctor and entered the patient's room.
She was greeted by anxious family and an equally anxious
patient. All asked the nurse what the doctor had said about
the patient. The nurse started, "The doctor said that you will
live."

Then quickly reviewing the orders, the nurse added, "But
you will have to learn a new sport."